On the Google Machine

On today’s google machine we’ve got DANGER and INTRIGUE and NAKED KITTIES

ESPN has broken the news that the World Cup predicting octopus is dead, cephalopod lovers and degenerate gamblers the world over, or at least France over are devastated.

With Leather claims that geeks all over 60 American Colleges will be pretending to play Quidditch at the Quidditch World Cup.  So really this post is directed at Ogre, NERDS!

Since I love the Steelers, love defense and think Christmas Ape is pretty great, head over to D.C. Steeler Nation and hear him defend James Harrison for a bit.

We all love the Charlie Sheen joke of the day, so we are so glad to hear he’s back with the blow and the hos, read all about it at WWTDD

Finally the guys over at Married to the Sea have a picture of your creepy uncle boning a tree, so I’m sure your mom is glad that got out.

And stay tuned later today for sport and a rousing debate about whether 35 minutes of monkey queefs is the ultimate hipster album.

The Hangover

The Hangover is where we bring you all the weekend action every Monday for you to stew over.  Of course we don’t talk about the NFL or much NASCAR, or, well it’s pretty much College Football actually.

In college football another #1 school went down, not a real #1 school, but the BCS #1 when Mizz beat Oklahoma this Saturday.  Since Oregon was #1 in all the polls I think this is just another example of how insanely shitty the BCS ranking system is.

In other news the fraud that is LSU was finally exposed and actually lost this time which launches Auburn past Oregon in the BCS rankings, but not the actual polls so that next week people on ESPN can all clamor about another #1 going down.  Thanks.

The NBA wrapped up their meaningless pre-season with another Miami injury, this time to “key piece” Brad Miller, so that’s going on.  And in more personally exciting news I did my fantasy draft.  Go Warren Al Jeffersons!

In F1 which I know only I care about Ferrari had a 1,3 finish to pull closer to both McLaren and Red Bull in the Team Standings while Alonso’s win puts him further in first place.  Now with two Asian Grand Pre events maybe Uji will start to care.

Finally, to finish things up with some more Euro motorsport news, Sebastion Loeb’s dirty French ass won the Rally of Spain in his stupid Citroen.  I have no real reason to hate Loeb or Citroen, but I hate them both and I can’t help but think most Americans do too.  Also with only Ford and Citroen competing this year WRC has gotten pretty pathetic.

New to the Family

Sorry there is no picture to go along with this post since I am writing it from someone else's computer at a bar while I get ready for my fantasy basketball draft.  But we are pleased to welcome Karli as our newest end of bencher.  She is coming on officially as the Junior Editor of DNP-CD, if any of my writers would ever write she would be editing their posts, as it is she is here to fix my spelling errors a d possible write something now and again.  Mostly girly stuff I guess, maybe something about tampons or unicorns.

Mountain West Conference Weekend

I’m pretty drunk right now and these girls are not doing it for me at all, I mean come on it’s Fort Worth, that’s pretty much Dallas

I know that MWC Weekend is a terrible name for a post, but I’ll have to think of something better later.  Frankly I’m not even sure how much longer we will be doing this as soon as Utah moves to the PAC-12 next season we will probably focus on that.  But for now get ready for a rant and this is not going to be the usual mid major rant either, because I don’t think that’s what the problem is.

In the AP pole this week as many of you may know Utah lost a place and dropped form 10 to 11, they stayed at 10 in the other two poles, so it’s mostly just the idiot AP writers.  But still, this is ridiculous, and I don’t think it’s just because they are a MWC team.  I know that’s what everyone on ESPN says, they give them some bullshit lip service along with TCU and Boise and then dismiss them anyway.  It’s always the same, they shouldn’t be punished but they should be passed up.

I’m sorry is not playing grounds for moving up 3 spots but crushing a Big 12 team by 40 points gets you knocked down a notch.  I guess that’s not nearly as impressive as beating a third rate Big 10 team by 3 scores which gets you the number 1 spot.  And here is where I think it’s not just because Utah is in the MWC, because it’s so obvious that Oregon should be #1 and not Ohio St., oh I’m sorry The Ohio State.

Everyone knows that Utah is going to the PAC-12 next year, but look how current PAC-10 schools get treated.  For one thing they play a much better schedule, the PAC-10 is probably the best conference 1-10 in the country this year.  Way better than the Big 10.  and even probably better than the vaunted SEC.  So Ohio St. beats Illinois and gets to be #1 and LSU, who should have lost 3 games beats a middle of the road Florida team and goes ahead of Utah?  It’s the entire west coast, Oregon is getting screwed just as much as Utah.  If you’re not USC, no one cares about the PAC-10, it’s just lip service that they are even a BCS conference.

I’m not even sure how to define the bias in voting, it’s not really an east coast bias, because the Big East and ACC are crap and while they always start high up in the polls even that fiction cannot be maintained for an entire season.  It’s the Big 10 that is grossly over rated, the Big 12 has its upper teams that are probably deserving and pull up the lower schools and of course the SEC always gets the benefit of the doubt, but I think they’ve earned that over the past 30 years.

I wish I could come in here with a solution, but there isn’t one.  Schools are rated on their history, plain and simple.  College football is conservative in the truest sense of the word and I don’t know if the young Turks will ever break through, if new money will ever be old money.  A playoff would improve things, but as long as there are polls nothing will fix it, there will always be teams getting over and under rated and that’s probably why I like the NFL.

On The Google Machine

If these were filled with 4 Loko it would resemble the fridge at our podcast

Welcome to another addition of On the Google Machine our now daily link dump brought to you here at DNP-CD every morning by me and that’s about it because we have no real sponsors.

With Hockey season back we are going to be adding a new blog to the daily read Don We Now Our Gay Apparel a blog dedicated to everyone’s favorite Craig Sager of the Great White North, Don Cherry and his amazingly Canadian wardrobe.

A quick link to our good buddies With Leather as they once again complain about how stupid the BCS is and especially perennial choke artists Ohio St The.

Since we professed out love of Jugallos and Film Drunk many times, why not combined the two and link to FilmDrunk talking about ICP?  Actually there are lots of reasons but here’s the link anyway.

Since everyone at my made up office calls Monday, Mongay check out That's So Gay and their picture gallery of stuff that’s just so gay, I think this specific link is to RDJ as we call him wearing some really tall shoes and doing that “Oh no you he didn’t” face.

And finally, as is necessary every Monday the irreplaceable Big Daddy Drew at KSK breaking down Peter King and with all the Cocktoberfest Brett Favre news lately it’s better than ever.

Weekend Round Up

Baseball playoffs are now in full swing, the Yankees and Phillies swept their series this weekend giving them some time off to fix their rotations, although one needs much more fixing than the other.  Tampa has come back against Texas and has tied it up and the Giants still lead 2-1 over the Braves.

I’ll briefly touch college football because I’m going into it much more later, but here are some scores to mention:

Ohio St. 38 - Indiana 10

TCU 45 – Wyoming 0

South Carolina 35 – Alabama 21

Oregon St. 29 – Arizona 27

Utah 68 – Iowa St. 27

Hockey is back, which I know no one but me cares about, but suck it I’m in charge around here.  The best part is, there have been super star fights with Kovalchuck, Green, Datsyuk, Perry, Malkin and Nash already being in fights this season.

And finally Team Red Bull crushed at the Japanese GP with a Webber, Vettel 1-2 finish and a third place by Alonso to give Red Bull a 45 point lead over McLaren and a 92 point lead over Ferrari in the Manufacture’s Championship.  And helped Webber extend his lead over Alonso to 14 points in the Driver’s Standings.

On The Google Machine

We all know this is the future of google, a really awesome version of skynet

So today on the Google machine let’s slip and slide down the tubes of the interwebs, cause it’s tubes and webs, and find out what the kids are looking at.

Deadspin has some info about Brett Favre sending dick picks from his cell phone, and since Uj loves Brett Favre Dick Picks (let’s see the SEO on that one) here you go.  I think his excuse was he was trying to send them to someone else but they got intercepted BOOSH!

Also in sports Ball Don't Lie the best basketball out there, even with Kelly Dwyer running it has Carlos Boozer getting beat at horse by some kid.  They make a lot of excuses, but we hate Booz so screw him.

Basketball John over at SLC Dunk has done a series of Utah sports radio personalities death match things.  Something I should have done since this site is supposed to be sort of local and about media, but oh well.   Read SLC Dunk, it’s good, it’s about the Jazz, it will eventually be part of my local blog segment when I get around to it.

Here’s something from FilmDrunk don’t really care what the article is about, but I love FilmDrunk, there is an awesome video at the end with a fat chick talking about beating people to death and they introduced me to 4 Loko, so what more can I say.

And a little link to a new blog I’ve just learned about from Punte over at KSK and With Leather, Twinkies and Gin.  It’s about stuff I guess, I like it.

And since you’ve had to do a lot of reading, here’s a present, the chick that Brett was sexting with her hot friends.  They seem to be at one of those parties where all the girls are in swim suits and all the guys are in jeans and tribal tattoos.  I think Michael Bay invented those parties.

Weekend Roundup–Soon to be Something with a Better Name

Here’s the really late Weekend roundup, I was going to hold off until next week for anything new but taking a whole week off seems sorta effed up so here’s some shit.

BYU got crushed again because they totally suck.  For the first time ever (not verified in any way) there are 3 teams from non BCS conferences in the top 10.  I will write a real article about this.  Here’s a picture of the top 25.

And finally although not sports related, but it is awesome beyond awesome, here is a picture of Danzig buying some cat supplies that I found over at Will Leitch's Site

 

I think it’s from http://seriouslyhowgoodarethemisfits.tumblr.com/ which is an awesome site if you love Misfits pics.

I think the US lost some golf thing to some smelly Euros if you are interested in that.

Podcast #10 Two Girls One Podcast

Hey everyone a new podcast, big number 10 like anyone expected that to happen.  We have an unusual line up with Uj and Chess out of town on some kind of sex cruise or something.  We bring in Morgan for a full episode and Little Ron, Andy's lovely younger sister Ellie.  I forgot to make show notes so I'm not really sure what we talked about, but I'm sure it was good stuff.  I know we went about 20 minutes about STDs, which Lil Ron calls STIs now, for our new segment, ask Nurse Ellie about dirty sex stuff.  So have fun, and write us at our new email address benchcast@gmail.com

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Play Carefully, We Are All New

As you may have seen over the weekend we have a new site look, new banner, new logo and the podcast has picked up a new logo.  And since new things are fun we are adding a couple of other new changes as well.

We’ve added a couple new writers whom with any luck will start writing things pretty soon, unlike the last couple writers that we added.

We have out new e-mail: Benchcast@gmail.com please feel free to send in anything you want, ideas for articles, Bench Cast topics, complaints, money, naked pictures of your girlfriend from college, questions for our new segment Ask Ellie about your weird sex problem.

We will be adding a couple new feature articles as well, Weekend wrap-up will be every Monday about what happened over the weekend except for the NFL, Oblong Balls will be on Tuesday about the NFL.  We will be doing On The Google Machine every morning about what is going on around the web and Audacity our podcast roundup will now happen twice a week.

As usual we will continue to ask you to leave comments on the blog because comments are awesome and send in your e-mails.

Thanks for reading everyone and a new Bench Cast will be up a little later this afternoon.