fingers crossed

today's post inspired by my favorite band from scandinavia, in no small part because they manage to make a gretsch and a dual rectifier work together. for those of you who, while musically inclined, are not up on your guitar/amp pairings, that's like george harrison joining slayer.

oh, the nba and your constant flurry of making me feel human emotions. what's the single biggest heartbreaking story you've delivered to my electronic doorstep this season?

the end of greg oden's career in portland? no (although wesley matthews, on whom i am developing a creepy man crush, going to portland is in my top five).

the unsurprising news that your idiot fans voted yao to the all-star game even though (1) he mediocre at best, and (2) he's constantly injured? booooriiiing.

is it even the jazz and their middling, consistently inconsistent play? i'm afraid not.

no, the nba's 2010-2011 saddest byline has been, and continues to be, the plight of the cleveland cavaliers. i get that gilbert's open letter, along with footage of fans burning lebron jerseys, from seems-so-long-ago summer made the team and its supporters out to be a bunch of crying bitches. but you know what? they were right to be angry.

hey jazz nation, remember every time boozer had a radio interview with chicago or miami? remember how you wanted to pluck out his goose-turd (anyone ever play a round at forestdale?) eyebrows and forcefeed them back to the guy for talking about leaving utah so openly? how do you think you'd feel if he had promised you a championship after growing up in ogden, only to run to LA as soon as he was a free agent?

see, they had a right to be changry.

and now, given the 25-and-counting losses by the cavs, i present to you the saddest story in modern basketball. a team, once a perennial playoff contender; a team that, for a few seasons, was at least a darkhorse championship threat, is now a poster child for pity. and it's not like the season started out completely bleak for cavs fans; even before the streak, cleveland wasn't looking fantastic, but they were sitting at 8-19. that's a .296 record, enough to have them only 4 or 5 games out of playoff contention right now had they kept that tepid pace (detroit, at .373, is 3.5 games out of 8th as of this writing, while new jersey, at .288, is 8 back). but this losing streak: it's enough to make most nba fans look away from sports center out of sheer embarrassment.

so what's got my fingers crossed? besides always having some lateral strain on the knuckles in my hand for the sake of the jazz making it to 4th in the west in the next 9 weeks, i'm crossing them in hopes that the jazz don't turn into cleveland after the 2011-2012 [season/lockout]. yesterday, scott howard-cooper, or scow-poop as i like to call him, posted a quick note regarding sloan's recently announced one-year extension over on nba.com's hangtime blog. predictably, the comments were split evenly along three lines:
(1) non-jazz fans who respect sloan but hate the jazz wishing their team had a coach like sloan;
(2) jazz fans who are excited about the news; and
(3) jazz fans who have a flaming case of hemorrhoids who think the team would be better off without sloan if only because retaining him is going to send d-will packing once his contract is up.

i'm not one to put much weight behind comments on sekou smith's brainchild, though i realize the irony of being one of many inane sports fans with his own dozens-of-hits-per-week blog while discounting my fellow social-media-savvy morons. but the last few weeks of chatter regarding deron's unhappiness, sloan's unwillingness to change, and the "necessity' of having a big three to be a championship contender has given me pause.

frankly, i don't see sloan's presence as a deal-breaker for his gr8ness. if deron wants out of utah, it's not going to be because of sloan (despite a snide comment about running the same plays for 23 years). it's going to be because of the front office's unwillingness to spend "what it needs to" to build the jazz into a title threat (i refuse to refer to championships as "chips," by the way). it's going to be because the existing team is, frankly, pretty lazy. it's because the ESA is getting quieter by the game. it's, to some degree, because he moved from downtown to holladay which is full of creepy polygamists and people who say things like "i got that H for you."

simply put, it's because deron wants to win a championship, and because he's such a perfectionist, he's not going to wait for that to fall into his lap.

the comparisons to john stockton need to stop, and they need to stop now. stockton was a fundamentals-only workhorse who did what he was told and played one game at a time. stockton played before kobe and shaq's personal problems led to one of the deadliest frontcourt pairings splitting apart; before dwayne, dwight, and chuck did commercials together; before the nba stole a championship franchise from seattle; before lebron. simply put, he played before the league finally became, right up front and unabashedly, about money first, rings second. deron wants a ring, and he knows that the fastest way to get there is with a hefty price tag.

but he also knows that a huge payroll, by itself, isn't going to be enough. the jazz are over the salary cap now and it's not working, which means utah's players and fans have one more year to prove to deron that he should stick around. that's not going to be on jerry; the guy is a hall-of-fame coach that has been to the western conference finals twice. please, go ahead and name me another coach on a team, as it exists right now, with room for deron who has better credentials.

the problem for utah is that this final year might not come. it's a real possibility that, with a season-long lockout, sloan and deron both walk; sloan permanently, and d-will to blue and greener pastures in dallas after jason kidd also hangs up his nikes.

thus i keep my fingers crossed. not for the jazz, but for the NBA, the NBAPA and derek fisher (booo) to make sure there is no lockout, no de-certification of the union to bring lawsuits. i'm crossing them for the thousands, if not tens of thousands, of people across the country who will be out of work (part or full time) as a result of stadiums being closed. i'm crossing them for jarron collins and sundiata gaines and all the players who make relatively few dollars, half of which goes to taxes and the other half to union dues that might put them out of a job*.

but, selfishly, i mostly keep them crossed for myself, to keep jerry sloan and deron williams in utah. i'll take 48 wins on the season over 25 consecutive losses any day of the week.

and now we all know, 25 consecutive losses after losing your coach and your all-star is an all-too-real possibility.


*i don't need a lecture that $200k isn't a lot of money. do the math: $100k, more or less, to taxes. $30k to union dues. $10k or so to relocate yourself, and your family, to a new city every 2-3 years. family coming out of the woodwork for financial support. pressure to live up to the NBA rep and drive a benzo and eat at fleming's. suddenly these bottom-tier nba players are bringing home about what you do, and they are going to have ruined knees and backs when they're 40.

cross-posted from harpringer of doom

Weekend Roundup

Obviously the web allstar band is the perfect symbol for all star games everywhere

So we come to that terrible weekend at the end of January where the NFL decides to give us a week off of real football and make us watch the pro-bowl while we wait for the Super Bowl still another week away.  All that it really does is remind us that in two weeks there will be no NFL at all, it’s like after you break up with a long term girl friend and then get back together for like a month for some reason before ending it for good.

So then on to the pro-bowl, which I didn’t watch because I’m not an idiot and I don’t get back with ex-girl friends for a month for no reason.  I hear the NFC won by 400 points, since there is no defense allowed and no one has tried since The Meast made Mormon his prison bitch on a fake punt about 5 years ago let’s just move on.

In other no defense, high scoring all start games the NHL came out Sunday night without the only 2 players I care about and made some goalies wish they hadn’t showed up.  They did something that was actually interesting though and picked two captains and then picked teams, which is absolutely how the NBA should do it since that is the ultimate play ground league.  Since the two teams don’t really have names and no one cares about the score I’ll move on.

Pretty sure some people played college basketball too.

Stay tuned later in the week for tons of Super Bowl coverage, and by that I mean me saying over and over again that the Steelers will win until I believe it enough to put all my savings on a +130 moneyline bet and maybe some other stuff too.  Oh, and there will be at least one Benchcast.

E-mail us your questions and comments to benchcast@gmail.com and maybe we’ll answer them on the next benchcast, or not.

Hot Chicks from the Past

Sorry I haven’t been that strong on the sports this week, but I do stuff and I’m lazy and I don’t drink as much during the day.  But as I’ve been promising here’s our first edition of hot chicks from the past.

Thanks to the impossible cool

Here’s Bridget Bardot riding around on a bike looking like a hippy, if you lived in the past she was a hot chick for sure.  Original Angelina Jolie DSL too, way to go.

jazz @ lakers

i'll keep this brief.

times are tough for jerry's kids. losing four in a row, three of them to lousy teams, and some sardonic commentary by d-will has jazz fans scratching their heads about the present and worried about the future.

but an immediate and tangible threat looms larger than season speculation for those of us willing to live in a world where short-sightedness reigns supreme. i'm talking about playing kobe and friends at staples tonight.

ending a road trip that started in DC like this, against their own arch-enemy has to be something of insult to injury for the jazz. not to pretend that this isn't their own fault; better playing - even moderately better - would have almost surely resulted in the trip standing at 3-1 right now rather than 0-4. but that's not how things broke down, and now deron willquip must try to avoid embarrassment at the hands of the western conference's perennial elite.

so what can i say to make things seem better? the only thing the jazz can do is adopt the same attitude they don every time we play the lake-show, and [expect/hope/pray/delude] that millsap comes out of the game smiling.

"bring it, assholes."


cross-posted from harpringer of doom

Benchcast

 

Hey everyone, new Benchcast.  It’s Ron, Morgan and me kicking it with some new technology, we have a soundboard now thanks to Ron which is actually really annoying and we now have embedded clips so welcome to the future.

We talk about the NFC and AFC championship games, a lot of new TV and laugh at that lady who fell into the fountain.  It’s classing comedy gold.

http://dnpcd.podbean.com/2011/01/25/nfl-championship-weekend/

Or just listen right here.

Podcast Powered By Podbean

But really you should subscribe on iTunes because that’s better for us and it will show up in your whatever device automatically.  Also feel free to e-mail us at benchcast@gmail.com

Laters

Oblong Balls

Aaron Rogers in a Steeler’s Sandwich (Getty Images)

This episode of Oblong Balls is of course going to be about the conference championships.  Two very similar games with two very similar QB lines and outcomes have set the Super Bowl up to be something that guys on ESPN love to talk about, since they are convinced that TV numbers are all that matter.

Both games were essentially one sided, with dominant first halves by the winning teams and slight come backs by the losers in the second half to make it sort of close.  Green Bay came out strong and went up 14-0 before eventually winning by 7 and Pittsburgh blew out the Jets 24-0 in the first half with a monster run game before finally winning 24-19. Essentially a reverse of the score from their first meeting.

Interestingly both Rogers and Big Ben had sub par statistical games, both had under 15 completions and 2 ints with no throwing touchdowns, yet common opinion is that both had rather good games. One of the interesting flukes of football, the difference between stats on paper and actual performance, which has always been the bane of fantasy owners everywhere.

Outside of being a Steelers’ fan and extremely happy to see the Jets go down and their pretty boy QB take more hits than a Tijuana stripper I think this match up will prove to be a great one for the Super Bowl.  I’m pretty sure that I picked Green Bay and Pittsburgh on a Benchcast about 6 months ago, but I’m not going to go back and check.

Both teams have great QBs, probably the best of the next generation, emerging running games that proved themselves against strong run defenses and what I believe are the 2 best defenses in football.  Which of course means it’s either going to be 14-10 like it should be or shit goes completely out of control like last time they met and it’s 35-36 again.

We’ll keep you up to date on all the nonsense that is spouted over the next 2 weeks about who Goodell wants to win and how many chicks Big Ben has raped and who’s talking trash and whatever other crap comes up that has nothing to do with the games.

Also, a special Saturday edition of the Benchcast will be up today and finally please e-mail us at benchcast@gmail.com if you want to ask a question on the podcast or leave a comment or even be on the show.

hashtag: jazzfail

just got back to my hotel in beantown from the boston game. i can say, quite honestly, that after attending the jazz-nets debacle in newark on wednesday night and now this latest massacre, something is wrong. terribly, terribly wrong.

i might get egged in the streets of salt lake for saying this, but i miss boozer a little. al plays as soft as c-booze in the paint without averaging 20 and 10. and, frankly, boozer’s one dunk per game was better than jefferson’s because at least boozer would show some emotion with that stupid screaming afterward, which occassionally lit a fire under the rest of the team.

the whole team looks like it’s playing in slow-motion. tonight, raja had four points in the opening two minutes – pretty solid start for him – and then was a non-factor for the balance of the game. deron was frustrated for his entire time on the floor, starting right at the tip-off, and made several rookie mistakes throughout the game, including getting into foul trouble midway through the first. i recognize that tonight’s officiating staff was a little whistle-happy, but i recognized that fact about 90 seconds into the game. deron, and the rest of the jazz, should have done the same and adjusted their game. instead, they played physical D just long enough to get players into foul trouble and then abandoned playing defense for the balance of the game.

paul millsap: buddy, what happened? you were on the verge of a breakout, all-star season after putting up 46 in miami and since then, what? a couple 20-10s scattered one game every other week? not gonna cut it, guy.

i’m going to stop myself here before i go into each player’s lack of heart in the last two – well, three really, but i wasn’t actually at the washington game so i’m not going to talk about that – games, but it’s pervasive through the entire team. these guys should have come out tonight swinging with two cellar-team-colored chips on their shoulders. instead, they allowed boston to completely control the game from tip to horn.

i’ll sum it up this way: i am embarrased to be wearing my jersey the rest of the night while out “being totally sober” (hi mom!) in boston. i’m still going to wear it; i’m not that big of a crybaby. but i think i’ll have one good conversation with a couple guys at the beantown pub and after that i’ll just mumble something about d-will having the flu and shuffle away.

sad face. llama face.

halfway there

oh bon jovi. you live on a prayer indeed.

you know who else is living on a prayer right now? me. and probably you, since you're reading a mediocre blog about the utah jazz. things are rosy for jerry's kids, in one sense. barring a natural disaster in which deron williams is swallowed whole by the earth and ronnie price gets his legs severed by a razor-sharp stalactite, the jazz are going to make the playoffs. we'll have a guy in the all-star game (probably). even the northwest division championship is still a real option.

this isn't me freaking out about losing to the wizards. i understand that a few things are factors here: (1) another slow start doomed the jazz; (2) utah always loses a few games to awful, awful teams, usually in december and january; and (3) DC, despite their record, have a lot of talent on their squad, and clearly are capable at their best of beating a better team who is still (literallly) waking up at the tip-off.

no, these reasons/excuses for the loss are not what has me pulling a JBJ at the season's midway mark. what concerns me about the loss is how we lost the weird 1:00 pm EST game in the nation's capital. when the jazz offense is clicking - or even executing moderately - you can expect points in the paint (where al jefferson allegedly gets nasty). the jazz gave me a fun birthday present yesterday: 32 points scored from the greater key zone.

that's not going to cut it.

remember during the summer when all of jazzdom was clamoring, begging, dying for some personnel moves that would make the team longer? remember getting swept by LA because we had no answer for a dominant inside game against a team with several dudes taller than 6'9"? remember how those things seemed inextricably linked? and then remember how the new-look jazz were posed to have an answer for that via jefferson, millsap, okur, elson, fesenko, and AK?

well, if the jazz having five lurps on the team can't beat DC's handful of genetic freaks, the glow of "likely to make the playoffs" is less comforting when it's virtually certain that the road to the championship still runs through LA. check out those stats again: the jazz averaged 48.3 ppg in the paint last season. through this point, that average has dropped to 42.7. the lakers, meanwhile, have actually seen their paint ppg go up this year over last, from 43.3 to 45.8.

i recognize that having a high number of buckets made on layups and dunks doesn't guarantee rings for the players come june (memphis leads the league currently and crushed all comers in the category last season as well, while winning something in the neighborhood of 4 games per month). but for the jazz, whose win column depends almost entirely on executing sloan's interior-heavy offensive system, floaters and dunks are more than necessary.

watching the jazz struggle inside against an inferior team (despite my earlier lauding of its potential) does not bode well for april. perhaps i'll be singing a different tune on thursday morning, after sitting courtside at The Rock (if your local team played to 40% capacity at home games, you could afford $60 courtside seats once a year also) and seeing how the yazz handle a nets team featuring 6 guys at 6'9" or above.

i'm also moderately concerned for my life should the jazz win in boston on friday, since i'll also be sitting low for that one in a jefferson jersey and boston residents are notorious asshats about sports (even going to the lengths of making us watch movies featuring drew barrymore).

and yet i refuse to complain (too much). ah, the perks of having a northeastern home address; it might cost $200 a month to park a car that you can lease new for $150, but at least there are 5 NBA stadiums within a 5-hour drive.

Sal the Barber

This is our weekly picks section where I tell you how to loose the mortgage payment and the kid’s tuition money all in one fell swoop.  Also, if you have kids and a house payment and read this site you have way more problems than gambling.  For those of you that are interested Sal the Barber is named after my dad’s childhood barber that was also a bookie and would take bets over the phone while he cut the neighborhood kid’s hair.

This is an NFL playoff weekend so the other sports can screw off because we are all NFL all the time this week.

Baltimore +3.5 @ Pittsburgh We have the Steelers in this one mostly because I hate Baltimore and think Pitt has it by a touchdown, I have a bunch of stupid reasons why this won’t be a 3 point game, but who cares.

Green Bay +1 @ Atlanta I have GB to win outright on this one so take the point and pick up some extra scratch with the line bet too, looks like you can get +120 if you look around, looks like the spread is at +112 too so you’re picking up extra scratch on this one all day long.

Seattle +9.5 @ Chicago  Can you really see Chicago winning any game by more than a touchdown, neither can I.  Sorry Ron.

Jets +9 @ New England  I can’t see another blow out like the last one, plus I hate New England and what better reason is there to bet than ridiculous emotions about conference rivals.  I’m hoping the Jets pull this off, but it’s going to be New England by a touchdown I think.

Jazz Dreams from the Hill

first: today's post brought to you by one of the best recordings from my favorite band, covering one of the best songs from punk/indie legends. second: my trial run of photoshop is up, so paint will have to do until the hardcopy of PSE9 gets here next week.

since last season, i have had a recurring dream. not exactly recurring, i suppose, as the dream is changing to reflect what happens in my waking life. i don't know a lot about interpreting subconscious manifestations of your life, but i do recognize a couple of things here: (a) i think way too highly of myself; and (b) being part of something larger than myself is important to me.
the first dream in this sequence that i remember with any particularity was being waved off the floor at ESA to allow another player to check in. i exited on the wrong side of the court (near the miller's seats) and had to walk around to the bench, where ronnie brewer politely informed me that, though we were on the same team, we had never been officially introduced. ronnie price also shook my hand and gave me his name when i sat down next to them.
the next dream i had, early after the jazz exited the finals, is being welcomed to the team after my strong showing in the walk-on tryouts hosted by jeff hornacek (despite the fact that, in real life, i have a 3" vertical leap and can't make a layup if my life depended on it). although i made the cut, jerry DNP'd me for the first three games and i forgot my locker combination (high school?) and had to run to the old fanzz store in the basement to buy a new uni before the third game.
the third installment that i recall with any clarity was only a few weeks ago. my wife and i were headed to dinner at a very fancy and well-regarded restaurant in a downtown SLC building (that doesn't exist). on our way up the stairs to the private dining room for Very Important People, paul millsap stopped us on the stairs to say hello. i responded, "paul millsap, how do you know who we are?" "shoot, everybody knows who you two are."
finally, early this morning i dreamed that i had been re-activated for the team, and at morning shootaround i discovered that fes is actually only about 6'4" when you see him person. also sloan made it clear that i was on the squad only for practice or injury-based emergencies. so i snuck outside for a cigarette with a friend of mine who works for a local newspaper. but this time i remembered my locker combination (someone had cleaned it out in my absence).
while i recognize that most dreaming is likely just random firing of synapses, and that last night's adventure was probably the result of lurking on the UJ360 message boards until 3 am, it's still a little comforting to know that even if i never step foot on the floor at ESA in reality, the team feels enough like part of who i am enough to not laugh me off the floor in my dreams.
p.s. after telling my friend at the paper about this morning's hallucinations, he gave me an insightful response: "First, you might be the only person in America having dreams that include Kyrylo Fesenko; second, don't take the lack of playing time personally. Sloan has a history of being hard on rooks."
apparently my dreams are wild enough for me to possibly be gay for fesenko but not quite wild enough to let sloan start a rookie; even my subconscious recognizes that some things are permanent.

 

Another great post from James, this is the last one until he writes a new one.  Remember to e-mail us at benchcast@gmail.com for your input and if you want to be on the Benchcast.

Don’t Start Thinking About CJ

This is James’s second post we are putting up, enjoy.  There will be one more coming later today, as well as a new Benchcast that Andy and I did last night which is pretty terrible, but oh well.  I also have a couple new posts today too.

my quick response to a thought-provoking post from Utah Jazz 360's Nick Knows All:

i’ve given this a little thought as well, and i’m not sure that i agree, nick. andrei carries an enormous negative stigma because of his paycheck, and i think that reveals itself often with this kind of thought process.

consider some numbers from the two players (CJ/AK):
rebounds – 3.2/5.1
assists – 1.7/2.8
steals – .97/1.17
blocks – .43/1.22
fouls – 2.6/1.8

now look at those numbers and assume that every whole number in a given category results in a basket by the opposing team or the jazz based on where the ball ends up (i’m being purely hypothetical here, simply for the sake of argument). that means that AK adds an additional 3.8 points per game based on rebounds, 2.2 ppg based on assists, 0.4 ppg from steals, 1.58 ppg from blocks, and costs the jazz 1.6 ppg less, when you compared to CJ’s performance. granted, CJ’s numbers are based on 9.6 fewer minutes per game. but that still leaves AK with an additional (potential) 9.58 points per game versus CJ.

and consider that CJ’s foul numbers would increase half again if we extrapolate him and AK switching minutes played – that puts him at 3.9 personal fouls per game. and AK, assuming he moves from 32.3 minutes per game (where he is now) to 22.7 mpg (where CJ is now), would only be scoring around 8 points per game. CJ’s scoring goes up to 17.5 ppg: CJ starting gives the jazz a 6 point advantage running the numbers out, but he also costs us almost two more fouls each contest – possibly for four points, dragging his effectiveness at starter to only two more points per game.

on top of that, the jazz would go from having an off-the-bench scoring threat that puts up almost 12 points a game to AK bringing that estimated 8 points.

CJ needs to stay on the bench. the fact of the matter is that AK and Raja need to step up their game a bit – along with the entire rest of the team – if the jazz are going to make it out of the first round come april.

Everything In Moderation

This is the first of 3 posts by James that I’m copying over to the site, this one is from Jan 10th.

today's entry brought to you by everybody's favorite "white trash, two kikes and a spic." this is their own description of themselves. not kidding.

despite a terrific effort in the fourth + OT against houston on saturday night, i must admit that i have overly embraced this year's jazz squad. or, rather, i've been too enthusiastic about the potential within this team and not giving enough credit to reality.
paul millsap had an unbelievable final 8 minutes against the rockets. deron played pretty well; 14 points and 15 dimes. but he also had 4 turnovers and shot 1-6 from beyond the arc. the jazz pulled down 31 boards just between AK, paul, and big al (with 53 boards overall to the rockets' 42).
but, the brilliance of the performance was overshadowed by the rusty-if-not-just-plain-bad showings the jazz have been putting together for a few weeks now. in fact, the biggest shadow cast over utah collecting the W on saturday night was the fact that it took an all-star night from millsap, in overtime, to beat a team that sits at 16-21; a team who is dead last in its division; a team that sits tied for sixth-worst organization in the entire NBA.
winning in overtime against the dregs of the NBA? that doesn't exactly reflect a bright future for the victorious jazz.
what exactly is wrong with this squad? i thought maybe a disinterested home crowd was partially to blame - and to some extent, i still do. but i will concede that it's harder for a crowd to back a team that plays .500 ball in the northwest division.
i think anybody who is interested in the jazz knows what the symptoms are at this point in the season: poor rebounding, no-showing in the first quarter/half, streaky shooting, etc. effectively, we look what we should have looked like in the pre-season. and that's where, in my opinion, the trouble begins.
with the jazz's roster getting turned inside-out and upside-down over the summer, nobody expected - even with the acquisitions of jefferson and bell - the jazz to crush all comers back in early october. when regular season play started against denver and phoenix, any shake of the magic 8 ball came up with "buckle up for a long and painful rebuilding process." but things started clicking shortly after the season began and suddenly the bleakness began to sharpen up; color emerged where once there was only gray.
and so the problem intensified. the jazz, playing against crap teams (or good teams that completely collapsed late in the game, had a chance to build their confidence while not building their skills. or at least the skills weren't being put together fast enough to keep up with the rest of the league.
don't believe me? check the standings again. the jazz may currently be tied for 4th in the west and 8th overall, that's true. but look at the numbers in the west again and remember that the northwest is the most competitive division in the NBA (at least in terms of landing a top playoff seed). and also consider that the western conference, despite the recent rise of chicago and miami, is still the superior group of teams in the NBA. case in point: the seventh-ranked team in the east, the pacers, are 14-20, while philly, in 8th, are barely above .400 ball; the 8th in the west, portland, is 20-18.
keeping those numbers in mind, look at the jazz and its records (1) at home, (2) in the NW division, and (3) in the west:

1. the jazz are 13-7 (.650)at home. not too shabby, in theory, but not what jazz fans are used to. more importantly, it's not that great compared to some similar or "worse" teams (in terms of overall records) in the nba: memphis (.647), portland (.750), denver (.789), OKC (.737), atlanta (.722). get it? you effectively have to get to teams under .500 before you see worse home records, and memphis has almost the exact record at home as the jazz at 17-20 overall.
2. utah is tied for first in its division with durantula and the thunder. as of today, the jazz lead OKC in road record (.667/.611, respectively) and in no other category. OKC holds the edge in home record (see above), division record (OKC @ .857, UTA @ .429), and conference record (OKC @ .609, UTA @ .542).
   denver, four games back in the NW, is only worse than the jazz on the road. denver's numbers: at home (DEN @ .789, UTA .650), against NW teams (DEN @ .667, UTA @ .429), and against western conference teams (DEN @ .583, UTA @ .542).
   even portland, those wes matthews stealing sons of bitches, has some edges on the jazz where it counts come playoff seeding time. home record (POR @ .750, UTA @ .650), NW record (POR @ .556, UTA @ .429) and a similar conference record (POR @ .538, UTA @ .542).
3. i don't think i need to break down to percentages how the jazz fit with the rest of the west, since excluding the three better teams (spurs, dallas, lake-show), only new orleans is currently 8th or higher (6th) in the conference without being in the northwest. they're three games behind the jazz and have better home and division records.

what do these numbers mean? they mean the jazz have been playing well against teams that don't matter, or at least the jazz aren't playing as well against teams that matter as those teams themselves handle the best of the west.
so what does this have to do with moderation? watching paul put up 46 on miami was intoxicating. the fact that it was one of four consecutive games on the road that resulted in a win only added to feeling. having a team that makes these semi-heroic comebacks from 10+ time and again lends a fan, like myself, to believe that no hole is too deep.
but the fact is the holes are being dug against shallow teams - at least, that's been true excluding the glorious road streak of november, and that was very early in the season. while the jazz have been talking about improving and executing better as the season moves forward, those four november road wins were effectively wiped away when we lost to miami and atlanta at home in horrid fashion. adding insult to injury, portland spanked us twice in a week, while dallas and new orleans each put on a "how to crush a college-level team in the NBA" clinic against Jerry's Kids in december.
the thing to take in moderation is the jazz's moderation. sometimes they play like NBA champions - but it's only a few moments at a time and generally against mediocre squads. i'm not trying to suggest that i have lost hope in the jazz. in fact, running through these numbers has done the opposite for me. the jazz, despite having numbers of a .400 - .500 team in some regards, have shown flashes of brilliance in their inconsistency. so long as sloan is at the helm, i still have a firm belief that things will continue to get better.
but i think it might be time to have a more realistic view of what's coming in the next few weeks. i've said a few times already that the jazz had a shot at going on a few 10 game win streaks between now and late march. barring a miracle (herely of rapid development to full potential, not one to potential that doesn't exist), i'm thinking it looks more like a couple 5 - 6 game streaks would be fantastic but not inevitable.
even so, that kind of winning still leaves the jazz in the playoff hunt while the team continues to improve. hey, even if they only improve moderately (looping on a theme!), OKC doesn't stay at the top of the northwest. that will be something to celebrate in excess.

Gucci Mane, Straight Crazy

Picture credit vulture at Nymag.com

This has absolutely nothing to do with sports except the NBA and prison seem to be the only places where people get neck and face tats.  But Gucci Mane to celebrate being released from a mental health facility has celebrated by getting a tattoo of an ice cream come shooting red lightning bolts.  It’s obviously the best tattoo ever and and you would definitely want it right on your face so everyone could see it, and not impinge the mental health industry but maybe he got out a day or two early.

Slick City Round Up

This is one of our newest columns that I’ve been promising for months, but now that it’s finally above 20 F for the first time in about 3 weeks, mostly because it’s going to snow and rain for the next 5 days, and I’m slightly less busy at work I’m writing again.  Also, Uj and Ron finally have internet and new iPads so maybe they will start writing some things too.  We also are going to start pulling some stuff from James’s blog, since he actually writes.

So on to Slick City Round Up where we pull from local sports blogs and give them a little pub on this site, as if people actually read this pile of crap.

First is Salt City Hoops one of the 3 or 4 independent Jazz blogs out there.  This article is specifically a re-cap of last night’s Jazz win over the Knicks 131-125.  But what made it so great was the line “It was nice of the Knicks to agree to play church ball with the Jazz”  A very Utah reference to shooting lots of 3s as a reference to the popular Mormon church sponsored basketball leagues that cover the state.  And really that’s what local sports commentary is all about, extremely obscure parochial references.

The other blog that I wanted to highlight is my buddy James’s blog Harpringer of Doom another ostensibly Jazz blog.  Everyone should check his stuff out either over there or at this site since we are going to start dual posting all his articles over here.  Great stuff and he actually writes, so isn’t that wonderful.

We are recording a new podcast tonight so get ready for that to be up tomorrow.  Good night and don’t eat the mussels.

Oregon BCS Championship Delayed for 2 Years

Wanted to thank Josh over at With Leather for this screen cap because I have another job and don’t have the time for this stuff, plus it’s a great site and @houseofpunte follows me on twitter so what more can you really ask for

So last night there was a BCS Championship game brought to you by ESPN and the entire Frito Lay Family or some shit.  In between games of Scrabble with Andy I’m pretty sure that I caught all of the important points.  I believe that the first half consisted of talking about how great these student athletes were and how much they loved their school and how someone might have said something about someone taking money but we weren’t really going to talk about that.  Then for the second half of the broadcast they actually tried to play some football.

There were about a million so called story lines for this game, Cam Newton and the money, the lay off, should TCU have a shot, who hates the BCS more, on and on.  The two things that jumped to my mind where, what is going on with this turf and why don’t the players have cleats that work and second I just spent the weekend watching the NFL wild card round and don’t these guys suck compared to the Seahawks.

The first half was terrible, I think there were 33 combined yards and 14 interceptions and fumbles from what I’ve been told for the past 6 months are the two greatest offenses in the history of football.  I also heard a lot about them the 6 months prior to that during the actual college football season.

I have to admit that I really hate college football, I watch Utah because I went there and have an interest and hate the BCS, although now that they are in the PAC 12 I’ve lost that angle so it’s pretty much going to be all about meeting girls from Arizona.  I know that we will have to hear about Auburn for the next two years until they finally vacate this championship and there is no college champion for the 2010, meaning that the BCS works because now the regular season is even more important because there is no post season at all.  Really if they want to make every game a championship game just have each team play one game then let some dolphins pick the winner by tossing hoops onto toy mascots.

Glad that’s over and I can go back to rooting for my Steelers to beat those gutter birds from Baltimore this weekend.