Randy Johnson announced this morning that he will be hanging up his glove and cleats and will be retiring from professional baseball. Now I am not going to bore you with his accomplishments throughout the twenty-two year career of this legend, honestly, that could take all day maybe week! I will quickly run the numbers just so you can get a feel for how great this 6 ft. 10 in. pitcher really was! I was once a pitcher, and the only stats i really cared about were wins and strikeouts(i would have cared about Cy Young awards but you have to get drafted to win one of those)! The Big Unit was 1st in the history of MLB in strikeouts per 9 innings averaging a little more than ten and a half. He was second in all time strikeouts in the league as a pitcher with a whopping 4,875 k's! wow! He won 5 Cy Young awards 4 of these awards came back to back to back to back with the Arizona Diamondbacks(1999-2002). He ranks second all time in most Cy Young awards ever won by an individual. Okay Okay, enough with the stats...lets get to the real reason why, in my opinion, this monster of a man was so dominant on the mound...
Randy took the mound with a certain kind of swagger that most pitchers don't have...where did it come from??? not his height, not his skinny frame(obviously)! It was his Tennessee Top-Hat, you know, his 1090(10% in front, 90% in back, his business up front party in the back! HIS MULLET!!!! That thing would be swaying in the wind hiding behind the pockmarked face redneck, there is not one hitter in this world that would not be intimidated by that! Oh and lets not forget that porn-stash he was rocking for the better half of his career! Dude looked like the creepy guy that pumps your gas in the middle of the desert in Nevada, although Randy threw gas instead of pumped it, still had the creepy thing going in his favor!
With all of that said, jokes aside, I want to say congrats on a wonderful career! The MLB will miss your redneck, mullet wearing, 100 MPH throwing, bird exploding, bat slipping out of your hand swinging, way you played baseball! Hats off to the Big Unit!
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