DNP-CD From Around the Web

Yesterday I was looking around for some interesting dnp-cd stats to give the blog some foundational ideas and characters, like if there was some NBA player that had 200 dnp-cd over 4 years and was still in the league or something.  Sergio "DNPCD" Rodriguez would be a fine example.

 But as it turns out I found something much better, something has secured my belief that the dnp-cd is not only my favorite box score, but the most essential box score in any sports re-cap.  Since I may be the only person that has plowed through both Gibbon's The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Vol. 1 and Simmon's The Book of Basketball: The NBA According to The Sports Guy the post modern Gibbon's and close to the same size.  I've come to the conclusion that the dnp-cd is the ultimate representation of a team understanding "the secret" and player not understanding.  Therefor the 08-09 Nicks.  D'Antoni coming to the worst "secret" team ever, which is a great irony since it was Isiah Thomas that told Simmons about "The Secret" and a coach trying to instill it upon his team.

The First website that pops up when you google (I guess I've given up and started using google as a verb, although I'm happy to see that it still comes up as not a real work on spell check. (double parentheses time; I have the exact same feelings about Avatar, when I went to see it as I was walking out my friend Erika tells me she was disappointed because she really wanted to hate it more and kinda liked it alright, which was my exact reaction too.) ) was this site from some silly local conglomeration site called examiner.com.  They had an article about How to read an NBA box score written by this guy:

And low and behold, the very first thing listed is the titular (I love that word, since it both makes me sound smart and reminds me of the awesome Dan Aykroyd sleezy art historian sketch from SNL) dnp-cd.  Followed by some other dnps that I would like to compare it too.

When a player does not play, his name is usually followed by the notation DNP (Did Not Play) with a reason for why he did not play. The most common is DNP-CD, which means Did Not Play-Coaches Decision. Other DNPs are:
DNP-Suspended (if the player has been suspended by the team or league)
DNP-NWT (if the player is not with the team)
DNP-DND (if the player did not dress for the game)
DNP-Flu (if the player sat out with the flu; this can also be Knee, Ankle, or whatever ailment prevented the player from playing.)

Now I've gone over DNP-CD and you all know what I think about it.  The next is dash Suspended.  This one is almost opposite in every way, since usually you get suspended in David Stern's NBA for doing something that your team would love you fore, like punching some flopping, kiss-ass Euro in the fucking face.  Of course, you can no longer play basket ball like it means anything to you personally anymore, so this is out.

The next is the mysterious dash NWT.  This can be almost anything, like a sick family member out of the area (in the case of eastern Euro players this means owing money to the Russian mob and having to rescue a family member before their hands are cut off to secure your debt) or a "Family Situation" aka your wife found out about one of your girlfriends back in Atlanta.

There really is nothing to say about DND, since that should be covered by one of the other ones, you just happen to have gotten some new digs that everyone who watches TNT has got to see.  So we will skip to DNP-Flu.  Here is the most interesting one, since it goes even above David Stern's head straight to God (Although David my not agree that is above his head).  God has given you the flu for one reason and one reason only, to see if you are Micheal Jordan or a complete pussy.  If you decide to play one of the greatest play off games ever and rip the hearts out of the Utah Jazz and all their collective fans as well as cement your legacy as being competitive to the point of people thinking you are bat shit insane, you are in fact not like Mike, you are Mike.  If you went home to have a lie down and missed the game, you are just another multi-millionaire athlete, so don't feel too bad about it.

I was hoping to have some clever way to wrap this post up, but frankly I have nothing.  Uji should have something a little later today about The Big Unit, the second greatest porn sounding sports name ever and his retirement.  It would be way to easy to make a gay joke about Nick right now, so I'll let you guys do that in the comments section.  Also, later this week I'll be doing my picks for the AFC Wildcard games and Uj will do the NFC and I'm hoping we can get Ron to do a rundown of all 16 teams in the playoffs, maybe.