We are finally up on podcastalley.com so if you love the podcast go over there and vote for us, it would be super duper awesome. We can use all the votes we can get and you can subscribe from there also if you don’t like podbean for some reason. We should also be on itunes any day now when they get around to it.
Thanks.
Video Courtesy of KSL.com
So this week on Sports Beat Sunday for those of you who may not be from Utah or watch local sports is just that, a local sports show. So they had on Derrell Griffith, former Jazz swingman and holder of my all time favorite NBA nickname.
Unfortunately on the website they only mention Hot Rod calling his Golden Griff, which like all Rod’s nicknames sounds like it was in the Tacoma Star Republican Trib from 1897. I wish the Jazz would pick up another 2 or 3 that would throw down like that, they need some Dunkensteining back in the mix, or a crazy assistant coach that yells, “It’s Dunkensteen!”
The internet, and it’s tubes.
KSK - Peter King: I link to this post almost every week because it’s awesome. I can never get enough of Drew breaking down Peter King’s weekly diatribe on coffee, loving Bret the Indecisive and what hotels are on Pete’s shit list this week.
Juggalos at Film Drunk: Unfortunately this doesn’t have anything to do with Miss Tequila getting Juggaloed off the stage, I guess no one gives a shit about throwing the first stone when you’re a piece of shit meth head. But it does have Tom Green and some hilarious quotes.
Ice Ice Soccer at With Leather: The Icelandic soccer team is back at it with some new goal celebrations, now if only they could fix what I call the “goal celibacy” problem with soccer.
New Jazz Uniforms: Brad Rock talks about the new Jazz unis, he’s right on almost every point except the skyline Nuggets uniforms which are fucking awesome.
The second episode of The Bench Cast, brought to you by DNP-CD. Tonight riding the pine we have DNP-CD contributors Nick Ujifusa and Andy Ronald as well as me as usual. We discuss Uji growing up as a gay baseball player in an a macho world, Ron's love of gambling, Tiger Woods recent decline in performance, a couple recent fights including Jim Gray and Cory Pavin, K-Rod and his father in law, Matt Barnes and a coach and the Cards and Cinci. We then finish with Uji almost loosing it talking about Papelbon and the Red Sox's bench and we finish with a new segment called Crazy Shit Ron says.
Check it out over at http://dnpcd.podbean.com/2010/08/15/6-fingers-of-dusty-baker/ where you can subscribe to the RSS or just listen to it here:
Hopefully we will be on I-Tunes pretty soon too.
Jim Gray is back in the news today, let me start this out with an insanely detailed pop-culture metaphor to explain this banner pick. Having looked back on it I have decided that The Decision is essentially Blue Velvet with LeBron playing the role of Dennis Hopper spouting “I’m taking my talents to to South Beach” instead of “Fuck Heineken, Pabts Blue Ribbon” Jim Gray is obviously Isabella Rossellini with the fingernail question being the equivalent of letting LeBron call him mommy while Jim sucks him off and everyone in Cleveland playing the role of Kyle MacLahlan hiding in the closet watching this horrifying display.
Like what happens to most people that have had the opportunity to blow someone famous, they suddenly see themselves as part of the crew, a squirt to the face is the knighting of a new member of the LeBron crew. So being the newest member, Jim Gray is going to move from kissing ass in the most bogus interview special ever to slinging his big cheese dick around and landing it with a giant blue cheese mushroom splat on Corey Pavin’s forehead.
Like what happens a million times a year in sports media Corey Pavin makes an off the cuff comment about picking Tiger for the Ryder cup to Jim Gray, Gray reports it and then Pavin denies it. Happens all the time, every sport, every reporter, everyone and what usually happens is…nothing. The reporter moves on, the truth eventually comes out and everyone says either the athlete or coach is covering or the reporter simply misquoted him depending on the results in the end.
Not this time, this time Jim Gray, in a press conference calls Pavin out in front of a bunch of media members. Goes total Sunny on him, says he’s going to take him down, WWF in 1986 style, probably went Mr. T and told Pavin to send his wife by to find out how a real man fucks. This is just so awesome, I assume Gray called up LeBron later that night saying that he needed to put a hit out and LeBron knowing that Gray was out of line like Pesci in Goodfellas just sat there in silence and then whispered that to his right hand man that Gray needed to be reigned in.
This can only end like Goodfather 2, it’s going to be LeBron and Gray floating out in the middle of lake someplace in the fog, LeBron says, “How could you Jim, I thought we were family” then fade to black with a quiet splash in the distance.
So for the last couple of weeks ESPN has been telling me that I should care that Brian Cushing of the Texans has tested positive for some banned substance. Not that he actually tested positive for any specific banned substance but that his hCG levels were too high indicating that he could have been in the middle of a cycle. First off, it’s football, no one, literally no one cares. I mean the talking heads that come on Around The Horn spout about it for a couple days, but not even the sanctimonious pricks that make up the AP sports writers cared enough to take away his defensive rookie of the year. So since we’ve already determined that steroids mean nothing in football, hell you can get comeback player of the year for missing time do to a steroids suspension, what is the story here.
Well, here is the story, Cushing, backed by his owner Bob McNair has said that the positive results were not from some banned substance but from Overtrained Athlete Syndrome. Unlike Kenny Powers it seems Cushing does want to be the best at exercising and just worked out so damn hard that his hCG was blasting out of his body in ultimate manliness. Since this is a new and unique excuse for positive tests, I wanted to review some classic steroid excuses to see how it compares.
Justin Gatlin who tested positive claimed that a pissed off masseuse rub The Cream into his legs to make him test positive. This is epic because it has the pissed off girlfriend/prostitute angle. Never get on the bad side of a masseuse.
Petr Korda whom I have to respect for dropping the E out of Peter to help stream line it, something I am seriously considering, it’s very important to be efficient in this economy. Anyway this Czech tennis sensation claimed that his nandolone came from his love of veal, apparently he only ate at Vegas dinner shows because it would take 40 veal chops a day for 20 years for that much nandolone to build up, clearly that’s what’s keeping Don Rickles employed.
Dieter Baumann was the subject of what he claimed was toothpaste spiking, clearly too close to the east German secret police tactics he though that would fly as an excuse. And then in an O.J. like moment he offered $100,000 German Marks to find the guy that spiked his toothpaste, the dudes probably either on the golf course or it’s some Porto Rican guy.
And finally we have Dennis Mitchell who was clearly using the DENNIS method scoring four bouts of sprinter sex after crushing not 3, not 4, but 5 whole beers in one night. Must have gotten one of those Heineken Christmas 5 packs. What really put his story in doubt was that this 5 beer sexcapade was not with an Olympic groupie but with his wife, sure dude, sure.
While trying to decide what to write about on what has obviously been a very slow day in sports, which is kinda good since I’ve been really busy with work (I do have a post on the Bengal’s new wide receiving corps and their VH1 block that I can’t decide if I should post here or on AIF) I decided to simply search sports in google images and see what it came up with. Both of these pictures were on the first page of images.
One is obviously from about 1907 when there were 3 sports, golf, hockey and basketballs in 3 states of inflation and when you tried to get your equipment a gay French sailor with a bullhorn would yell at you. The second comes from England where obviously sport means something that you do with a helmet on. Which is odd since they are so into soccer which is not played with a helmet, although stretchers are very important and not football, the most helmeted sport of all.
Now that I’m three paragraphs in to this I realize that this is neither funny nor going anywhere, like most dates I go on. Sorry about wasting your time on this one, it’s a lot like those last couple Connery Bond movies, we’ll be back tomorrow with something a lot better, maybe some Malaysian Viper Porn or a break down of the ‘86 Mets, who knows.
